John Rockman and the Trials of Galactar (The Rockman Chronicles, #1)

John Rockman and the Trials of Galactar The Rockman Chronicles Clotheslined Edition Many spelling and grammar fixes An entire planet is going to die and Earth s mightiest hero John Rockman isn t going to take that lying down but he could if he

  • Title: John Rockman and the Trials of Galactar (The Rockman Chronicles, #1)
  • Author: Ron Jockman
  • ISBN: null
  • Page: 242
  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • Clotheslined Edition 1.04 Many spelling and grammar fixes 04 23 2014 An entire planet is going to die and Earth s mightiest hero, John Rockman, isn t going to take that lying down, but he could if he wanted to He once single handedly won the Plaxion Wars of 2433 AD with both legs broken just above the femurs The few surviving Plaxions still recall the hairy mass of Clotheslined Edition 1.04 Many spelling and grammar fixes 04 23 2014 An entire planet is going to die and Earth s mightiest hero, John Rockman, isn t going to take that lying down, but he could if he wanted to He once single handedly won the Plaxion Wars of 2433 AD with both legs broken just above the femurs The few surviving Plaxions still recall the hairy mass of man terror crawling across the battlefield, a laser pistol in his mouth, death in his eyes and blood in his urine an unfortunate side effect to having his pelvis mangled With the help of his delicate femaiel cohort, Maria Ozone, John Rockman must deliver precious cargo to the citizens of planet Pergos in order to save their lives, but the evil Prince Pilletus of planet Galactar has other plans for our hairy hero and his curvaceous comrade Join Rockman on his biggest adventure yet Gasp in awe as he uncovers a Blort Blart cheating ring Pump your fists in glee as he kicks an invisible assassin robot in the chest with his 5 inch stiletto heels Gag on your honor as he brutally kills an old blind man And scream a primal scream as John Rockman takes on the largest gladiator trials in the Universe in John Rockman and the Trials of Galactar

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    • thumbnail Title: [PDF] ✓ Unlimited ☆ John Rockman and the Trials of Galactar (The Rockman Chronicles, #1) : by Ron Jockman ½
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      Published :2019-07-07T16:37:31+00:00

    One thought on “John Rockman and the Trials of Galactar (The Rockman Chronicles, #1)”

    1. John Rockman and the Trials of Galactar is brought to you by the people behind @AwfulFantasy (follow them if you’re not already), and just like their Awful Fantasy tweets, John Rockman is deliciously dreadful. Unfortunately, I started reading this book because I had a bit of time to kill before an interview. Bad move. I laughed so hard that I cried, and ended up going to it all teary and mascara-smeared. Thanks for that.I can see why this book wouldn’t be for everyone. It is really, reallyba [...]

    2. This is the worst book I've ever laid my hands on.I've slugged through some bad fiction in my reading history. I've read bad old books, I've read bad new books. This one is the worst of all. This book is so bad that I made it a challenge to myself to read more than two pages without rolling my eyes or exhaling loudly in exasperation. A quarter of the way through I still haven't managed to do that.It's not so much that the book is hard to read - quite the opposite. A paragraph starts of nicely, l [...]

    3. Abandoning. The problem with lampooning golden age sci-fi's weaknesses regarding gender stereotypes is that it's possible, through repeated visits to that well for humor, to risk reinforcing the very problems you're trying to skewer or becoming more off-putting than the material being lampooned. That's what happened to me anyway.

    4. As a fan of old cheesy sci-fi, this was great! Couldn't help but picture Kurt Russell as John Rockman. The 80s vibe was strong!

    5. Warning: You must put your mind into a collage of all the sci-fi B movies of the 80s, and then envision Bruce Campbell delivering John Rockman’s lines. IF you cannot do this, I highly suggest skipping this book. The narrative style, muscle (and hair) descriptions, and the constant put-downs of the Femaiel race will turn you off.If you are still here, then you are in for a treat! This book is a tongue-in-cheek space opera of epic proportions, nay – manly proportions. John Rockman is the origi [...]

    6. This is easily one of the funniest books Ive ever read. The writers behind it have such a rich understanding of sci fi that they effortlessly hone in on every cliche and standby of bad writing and film in the genre. This book may deserve the status of required reading in college creative writing classes, because it demonstrates effortlessly every single thing an author should avoid to hysterical resilt. This is breathtakingly hilarious and a genuinely incredibly executed parody. That brings me t [...]

    7. This book is -- let me give you a quote:"Rockman lifted his large silver space wrench with his glistening/muscled arm and tightened a loose space nut to a level of tightness equaled only by his buttocks. The metal groaned under his strength but nothing broke. Rockman, while super strong, knew just the right amount of strength needed for any situation."The whole book is like that.The book spends some time heaping scorn on his sidekick Maria for being weak and stupid and incompetent, which raises [...]

    8. Written by the people who brought you Awful Fantasy on Twitter, this book takes that gag and just keeps going. It's amusing in small does, but I find that in large doses like this book the joke gets old a little too fast.The book itself is a parody of pulp fiction space opera that was popular mid-20th century. Again, there's some funny moments, but in a lot of cases I find the joke just gets older the further the reader goes. It's worth reading once, and story and action isn't bad, but it's not [...]

    9. It was a freebie on Kindle, but as a fan of @awfulfantasy on Twitter, it was a must-read. Just a couple typos in the edition that I read. Other than that, it was a fun send up of Space Opera. It was ridiculous, overwrought, melodramatic, and funny as all get-out.

    10. John Rockman is probably the manliest man the universe has ever seen. This book had me laughing an average of 4 times per page. The plot definitely slows down towards the middle of the book and wasn't very compelling. However the humor was top notch throughout.

    11. On the NoseI started reading this book because I had recently finished two real stinkers in a row. Somehow, John Rickman and the Trials of Galactar managed to to clean out the aftertaste by being even worse. Worth reading merely for the beautifully complex and subtle metaphors.

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